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and then i was alone again

by Lein

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1.
the living room is no place to reside feeling all these thorns stuck into my side theres no place to hide within this insufficient sunlight strung out on my own lack of empathy i was set out to be more than a source of sympathy seeking a soft spot on hips where i can reminisce nights filled with poison are too hard to resist this cant be me strung out on my own lack of empathy i was set out to be more than a source of sympathy
2.
freakish 01:18
i was born under a bad sky with a sickness that never subsides blood and marrow we foraged just to swallow every bridge written hollow our voices bellow under a bad moon yellow testing the fire before we build the flame if your own bodies bones are cage its not yourself to blame
3.
in rooms 03:33
i want to feel someone who doesn't know my name to be intertwined without any shame its different now but somehow the same more than ever are your eyes still weird? i think mine might be forever ill always be a boy with certain vacancy between my legs but a soft spot for you to reminisce as my shaky hands clench to fists hold me down but don't hold me back open legs to be filled as soft flesh spills fondling each tendon unraveling unraveling
4.
old haunts 02:55
resting in beds of nettle fondling with hands so gentle memories so fragmented like the blade of my knife is faceted im grateful for a place to store my shadow im not much of a home but im thankful even so with the trees long gone the sea must suffice keep your boots at the foot of my bed we'll sleep with nothing unsaid as the shingles in your mouth began decaying taking the flesh from your bones i hope that god knows that this is only a house and not a home
5.
its overwhelming me thinking of who would cut your hair will they treat each tendril like a silver platter? now that im gone i dont even want to know i became a list of my favorite words when your oxygen seeped through only now, the opposite of oxygen is you i could draw your crooked teeth from memory but i cant account 6(66) months from now
6.
marcelle 02:33
i often wonder where Marcelle is art became irrelevant at the same time that drugs did my green paints are overused wearing grief under my sleeves for the funerals i couldn't fly to days inch by as years are trampling cant find home in houses and i feel foreign in my body i miss the dreams that felt like dying sick saying i loved you as we were falling

about

for those i've loved and those i've lost

(maybe you'll listen this time)

credits

released January 4, 2020

-thanks to ebiff for taking the photo i used as the cover
-thanks to nat for buying my keyboard new batteries when i had no money
-thanks to the two sets of shoulders i've cried on in these past few months

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all rights reserved

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about

Lein Portland, Oregon

A // E
sad from Portland Oregon

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