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Ghosts in our House

by Lein

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    pea green cassette tape
    22 minutes long

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1.
)))))))) 01:55
curse the crows right out of the sky you plucked all my feathers, shoved them in between my thighs tangled our legs like roots we built new newts wishing ourselves the best but we couldn't stay clean in the slaughter am i a masochist or a martyr back at my house on Broadway i think that we met on a sunday
2.
feathers 01:35
shove my teeth into the concrete ill feel complete still feel you in every sound you're the blood in each and every wound you left my feathers scattered but i couldn't be killed in a way that mattered doesn't mean that it didn't hurt im left with a tendency of kissing dirt i was still pretty when i cried, tongue tied besides that was never for you to decide
3.
fantasize about my own death who would bring the best flowers and seek sympathy even though we since soured so insincere scoured the skin from my wrists since but its still here doe eyed as a deer time's near expired im walking wide on a tight wire sick and sorry ive filled us with worry parallel lines yet another sob story
4.
haunt you 01:23
trace the shape of my body shape shifting shadows twisting cigarette smoke drifting its conflicting but its all part of my pattern i dont know if ill ever learn if you want me to, i can haunt you too
5.
he tells me, "annie go to therapy" walking wearily but im fine without the clarity cant you see? drunk on gin to keep the nights okay the mornings are just my price to pay on a 12 step high-horse never long til you astray shoot your fucking heroin its fine ill tear open our living room is yellow yet i think were both broken break me open burn me down fuck this fucking heroin what about our priority? sobriety particularly ***still owe me that half point make it that one we use to like i think that'd be alright break me open burn me down i think you burnt me down ***nevermind actually, i wrote this a long time ago
6.
i knew i was a girl once i was left cold and wet on a strangers couch cause only a man could do that to someone salt on my knees forgive me i have sinned you're a burning house that i still want to live in
7.
a slow yet certain decomposition
8.
leaving fingernails forgotten tracing sigils in my skin burning leaves and stacking ashes into piles set to cope with esplanades soaking clothes with muddy water leaving salt stains left on shoulders meant for sinking teeth into skipping rocks and the pebbles from your dirty socks for fun chasing highs and high tides when the sun crept through your smoke when i couldn't cry i just fucked
9.
sober 04:05
theres no such kindness like the kitchen floor bottles shoved in all of the drawers "im sober" i swore lacks a certain silence g0d would be proud of me for like how im not stumbling back to the liquor store an hour since id last been there before on my knees again, praying im not just some whore how many someday i could amount to more "im sober" i swore hide the bottles weve done this before just help me get up off the fucking kitchen floor theres no such kindness like the liquor store bottles shoved in all the drawers "im sober" i swore lacks a certain silence that someone should be proud of me for "im sober, fucking sober" i swore
10.
so long 02:04
i rearranged my rage or maybe im just older now and know how to disengage the black houses are rubble now our clothes really show their age got your picture on my mantle and ive been blowing out your birthday candles we werent holding hands we were holding on digging bottles up from the front lawn so on carry on so long carry on

about

-to lose all and regret none-

it still lives inside of us, even in our new house we built together. sometimes you can see it if you look a little closer or if the sun shines in through the windows just right

credits

released March 2, 2024

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Lein Portland, Oregon

A // E
sad from Portland Oregon

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