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Hearse​/​isopropyl

by Lein

/
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1.
leaving fingernails forgotten tracing siglis in my skin burning leaves and stacking ashes into piles set to cope with esplanades soaking clothes with muddy waters leaving salt stains on shoulders meant for sinking teeth into skipping rocks and the pebbles from my dirty socks for fun chasing highs for high tides when the sun crept through the smoke when i couldn't cry i just fucked
2.
measuring spaces between eyelids with rule of tongue and tunneling vision suck marrow through straws to replace dripping finger tips for an open water sanctuary should have scraped skin samples for keep in jars of isopropyl alcohol labeled for each time that i sobbed at the ceiling fan skipping stones on sweat with set intentions it drips to pool in pores and punish sigils that i couldn't bring my self to burn
3.
iodoform it pulls and it poisons my insides now whenever it strokes them once i touched tendon and actually craved it and sought it out on purpose to twist my veins on a podium and confiscate my only source of holy water i stopped after 12 times when i finally ran out of clean skin sold my soul to the devil to get my shoelaces back
4.
framed flowers and framed faces tossed in a pile of soot by the front door railroad tracks and broken pains of glass stuck in the knuckles of middle fingers smashed up hands and blood red acttics i wish Gabi well i wish her well days didn't pass in peace but in plague and its my fault its my hands and i'm trying to own it 27 months doesn't mean shit when you're still the one begging for forgiveness economy of sex for signed rent checks but my inner thighs are worth far more than pennies blackened houses with rat corpses stuffed in the walls the house wasn't hollow sold my soul for shoelaces and the right to light match sticks again its under the floor boards if you want to find it
5.
second guessing mirrors to half heartedly expect that 4 am glances to be met with untouched flesh swallow wisdom teeth one like a vitamin swearing they'd erode my already fragile esophagus worship my esophagus steady your shaky hands and change the lightbulb by rotating the whole house this time masturbating an irrelevant ego and i'm still too scared to fuck i looked up at the ceiling fan and i swear that it was fucking mocking me
6.
wolf crying milk hog rooster teeth pigeon toes tearing skin from the black widows and taking apart the radiator at 4 am to find the source of the clicking noise that fills my head to the brim when i fall asleep i cant seem to shake the skin cells from underneath my bitten off finger nails but skin still sells in a hurry skin still sells in a pinch its ok i'm fine alright i'm good i guess thanks for asking don't victimize me with out my exclusive permission wolf crying milk hog rooster teeth pigeon toes
7.

about

written throughout summer 2016 in the garden facing apt
(re)recorded in september/october 2016

the bathroom floor is far more comforting

credits

released October 14, 2016

license

all rights reserved

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about

Lein Portland, Oregon

A // E
sad from Portland Oregon

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